I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Candid Conversation.

The Austrian Oak is rightfully celebrated as an iconic tough guy. However, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the late 20th century, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this winter.

The Story and An Iconic Moment

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who poses as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. Throughout the film's runtime, the procedural element functions as a basic structure for Schwarzenegger to film humorous moments with his young class. Without a doubt the standout involves a little boy named Joseph, who spontaneously announces and informs the former bodybuilder, “It's boys who have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Arnold deadpans, “I appreciate the insight.”

That iconic child was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. His career encompassed a character arc on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the pivotal role of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. He also frequently attends the con circuit. Not long ago discussed his experiences from the production after all this time.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My family, especially my mother would bring me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there briefly, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was good-natured, which arguably isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a productive set. He was great to work with.

“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”

I knew he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I only wanted to hang out with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was like an iPhone. That was the hottest tech out there, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being fun?

You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the big craze, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would hand me their devices to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all little kid memories.

The Infamous Moment

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember how it happened? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and history proved her correct.